Happy Purim 2026

Ayatollah Sucks Cocks in Hell!!!

Remember what Amalek did to you on your journey, after you left Egypt—

Dvarim 25:17

Literal Amalek is gone. That tribe of bandits disappeared centuries ago. Symbolic Amalek is still with us. Amalek has had many faces – the Cosscaks, the Nazis, the Iranian mullahs, the Communists. They all want us dead. This weekend, a virtue signaling Facebook acquaintance called upon MAGA fans to line to fight Iran. My response was “Bitch, I’m Jewish. I’m already on the front line in the war against terrorists.” Leftist terrorists and and rightwing terrorists hate each other but they want me dead.

Did you hear the one about the Persian minister who tried to use his influence to kill all the Jews? The ended up on his own gallows. Did you hear the one about the religious fanatics who took over Persia, exiled the king and tried to kill all the Jews? It’s explosive. They even blew up a building full of school girls in an effort to blame the U.S. and make everyone forget about how they murdered thousands of protesters.

There were hangings of white, fine cotton, and blue, bordered with cords of fine linen and purple, upon silver rods and pillars of marble; the couches were of gold and silver, upon a pavement of green, and white, and shell, and onyx marble.

Esther 1:6

Long after Lindsay Ellis screamed at her fans, made a long drunk video about how everyone was bullying her and fucked off to Nebula, she was on Bluesky defending the Columbia University Nazis because they reminded her of Les Miserables. Yes, these fuckers who celebrated the rape and murder of children were brave heroes singing about Another Day according to this idiot. She sees Ms. Rachel platforming terrorists and calls it “empathy.”

In my smartass pagan days, I marveled at how hardcore Xians blamed Jews for killing Jesus. They called each other Pharisees even though they had no idea what the Pharisees actually believed. They just hated Jews. Meanwhile, the most obnoxious evangelical atheists were blaming Jews for Xianity.

If these two dumb groups both hated Judaism, I should probably look into Judaism.

Today, the stupidest people still hate Jews. Rightwing Putin shills like Tucker Carlson and Candace Owens spread the usual blood libels. Leftist Nazis like Hasan Piker and Noah Samsen scream genocide. They just want to feel righteous because they saw Jews murdered and raped on October 7 and cheered. It’s the new blood libel and just as false as the old one.

Shock Shock Shock Shock my dog, I can’t help it…

Ali Baba, who expected a dark, dismal cavern, was surprised to see a well-lighted and spacious chamber, which received the light from an opening at the top of the rock, and in which were all sorts of provisions, rich bales of silk, stuff, brocade, and valuable carpeting, piled upon one another, gold and silver ingots in great heaps, and money in bags.

Purim is a day of drinking and feasts. On Purim, we remember how much the world wants to kill us. More importantly, we remember that we win. They might succeed for a time, but they will never kill us all. We survive. Even when our fellow Jews go kapo, we live. Mark Ruffalo may ruin The Avengers with his bullshit. Caitlin Johnston has her Nazi substack. The world will forget their names but will will remember our enemies.

Susan Sarandon can fuck off.

We even spend money on Scream 7 just to piss off the pro-paly crowd, upset that Melissa of the Fake Boobs got fired. I won’t be spending money on that movie because the franchise should have ended with part 2, but someone is paying to see that movie. Now, if the Scream franchise does a Sisterhood of the Traveling Mask installment, I would love to see it. Let me have a fun movie about a group of girls who keep their friendship alive by dressing up like the Scream killer and slaughtering their fellow teenagers.

That day Haman went out happy and lighthearted. But when Haman saw Mordecai in the palace gate, and Mordecai did not rise or even stir on his account, Haman was filled with rage at him.

Esther 5:9

Tonight, I will drink but not too much. I will feast, but only enough. I will see old friends. I will boo Haman and chear Mordechai. On the day that the Persians decreed a genocide, the Jews fought back. They put Mordechai in charge and most Jews liked him. Acheshveros realized that Esther was more clever than she let on. He knew not to pull the same shit that he pulled with Vashti lest he end up in a box on the side of the road.

O genie and crown of the kings of the Jinn, if I relate to thee my history with this gazelle and it seem to thee wonderful, wilt thou grant me a third of this merchant’s blood?’

Happy Purim, everyone.

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Here’s the Jewish Historical Institute’s article on Purim.

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