Job Chapter 33
STFU Elihu
Is Elihu supposed to be funny? He's too clueless to be taken seriously. Everything he says sounds like a parody of a teenage boy who just discovered Howard Zinn or Noam Chomsky and wants to teach those “deep thoughts”. Or the religious equivalent. Even Enduring Word, a Christian commentary site, calls him a pompous little windbag.
At very least, these chapters debunk the theory that Elihu was added as a later date. Sure, he's not mentioned outside of these chapters. Nor does G-d mention him. Yet, if Elihu existed solely to provide extra commentary, wouldn't he be smarter? Surely, an editor trying to include a pro-faith speech would give the readers something intelligent.
Elihu fits in with the themes because he is stupid. He's trying to cover up his stupidity with words. So many words. A few months ago, I mentioned the latest Job insight to a friend and he replied: “Well...the book of Job...is a...very deep...and complicated book.” Is it? No shit! Wow! You're so insightful, dude. Elihu is the guy in every college class who can't shut up. The teacher loves him because participation, but everyone else hates him. He's not saying anything insightful. He's just talking.
“Those who know do not speak. Those who speak, do not know.” - Tao Teh Ching.
No matter how much Job may speak out on behalf of humanity, beg for a fair universe and angrily insist that the world should be fair, some jackass like Elihu is there to torture Job with more idiocy. Elihu is the most realistic part of the book. What is the point of trying to understand when there are blissfully ignorant dipshits like Elihu happily impressed with themselves?
You might have the best insights. You might take years to understand the nuances of a situation. Doesn't matter. Some Andrew Tate fan is going to call you a fag. RFK jr fans will order you to cure your autism with fresh air.
Elihu is talking at Job. Elihu is talking to Elihu. Elihu is talking to be talking.
What does Elihu say?
I have a voice
I heard you (this is a lie)
You said that you were completely innocent and without sin (Job never said that)
G-d comes to people in dreams
Sometimes people are so sinful that they fall into the pit
Yet, sick people recover
DON'T INTERRUPT ME!!!!
I will teach you wisdom
Elihu says nothing worthwhile. Even Job's friends at their worst are trying to make sense of a cruel universe. Their conclusions are wrong, but they are speaking in good faith. Elihu has no shame or insights. He thinks he's speaking deep mystical concepts.
The damn shame is how long we spend as Elihu, young and ignorant but thinking that we know everything. Elihu really means it when he says that he will teach Job wisdom. Pesach is coming up and one of the tropes is the four sons. The wise one, the wicked one, the simple son and the son who doesn't know how to ask questions.
Elihu thinks that he's wise, but he doesn't even know what he doesn't know. It's a minor miracle that he even notices that Job wants to interrupt him.
One of my favorite YouTube channels is Jake DoubleYou. Here’s his video on Biblical Puns.
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Speaking of being young and stupid, I really thought I’d make a couple hundred thousand from Teddy Bear Cannibal Massacre, my first attempt at editing an anthology. If you buy a copy, I’d be most grateful.