Job Chapter 36
Elihu: A Space Odyssey
This chapter is very boring. Elihu is no longer saying anything worth hearing. He starts out by begging everyone to listen to him just a little bit longer and then never shuts up. If I was making a movie out of Job, I'd direct this scene with Elihu yelling at Job and his friends as they walk away. Even “The Enduring Word” mocks Elihu with statements like “Elihu is giving himself a certificate of genius” and “I admire Elihu's attempt a brevity; I call it an attempt, for I am not quite sure he succeeded.”
The Enduring Word a website for people who take the Bible seriously, too seriously. It is NOT a website for people who find the Bible funny and welcome sarcastic takes. Yet, even that site can't resist the snarking at Elihu.
Elihu is tedious for many reasons. He's already misread every argument. He is repetitive. His insights are puerile. He ignores the reality for “G-d is great” chatter. Choice quotes include:
Look, G-d is might but he despises no one; he is mighty with a strong heart (5)
He does not save the wicked, but to the oppressed he gives justices (6).
The hypocrites boil with anger, they don't even cry for help when he hurts them. (13)
Take heed. Don't turn to wickedness instead of affliction. (21)
He judges the people and gives food in abundance (31).
In the modern world, we are inundated with similar bullshit. Just compare verse 31 to The Secret, a book that told its readers that if they want something hard enough and click their heels and said “there's no place like home” they could get it. It sold millions. Or just remember the books you thought deep in college like Jonathan Livingston Seagull or The Spiral Dance or The Alchemist. Young people love this nonsense because they don't know any better. They know that the world is unfair, but they want assurance of past security. So they read bullshit that tells them that ultimately the world is fair. They just have to believe, or work, or grind, or hate women or whatever their favorite guru tells them to do.
People are fucking stupid. If you encountered Elihu on Facebook, you'd block him within a day.
Yet, there's an even more important question. Why is Elihu in this book? Best theory is that an ancient editor had a cousin who wanted everyone to read his clever bullshit. That cousin introduced him to his wife so he really owed the guy. Second best theory is that Elihu is here on purpose to annoy and bore the reader.
But why would a writer want to bore the reader? Writers generally don't want to bore people. Some fans think that the camping scenes from Harry Potter or the farming chapters from Anna Karenina are tedious, but the authors and editors felts these scenes were necessary. Even the supposedly boring classics have their fans. If you are in the right mood for gay autism and whaling facts, Moby Dick is actually quite fun.
Yet, there are some movie directors who are purposefully boring such as Ozu and Tarkovsky. Their movies are slow. You spend most of the time admiring the scenery. Even these films are rather soothing. They aren't purposefully irritating.
Then we have Stanley Kubrick. In every Kubrick movie, there are long stretches where nothing really happens. There are multiple scenes of Danny riding his Big Wheel through the Overlook before the dead girls show up. Barry Lyndon was a funny book but a serious meditation on privilege and striving in Kubrick's hands.
Yet, one movie reigns supreme when it comes to dull scenes. If you watch 2001: A Space Odyssey unprepared for the slow stretches between the monkey murder and the space baby, you will hate whomever recommended it. People on a space ship. Hal is rational. Hal is killing everyone. I can't do that, Dave. Daisy Daisy. Yet, those last 10 minutes where the aliens are communicating with Dave through a series of images and life are the most exciting and visually wild scenes of cinema history.
Without the boring parts, those scenes might be seem silly or even ridiculous. Yet, they work. Watch the movie from beginning to end and the tedious bits place one in a mood receptive to those scenes. The contrast between the slow bits and the ending make the movie a classic.
Same with the Book of Job. Sure, G-d's speech is the best in the book. Fun fact, in the Bible, G_d always gets the best lines. G-d could have come in after Job without Elihu, but Elihu serves as a contrast, a gatekeeper so we don't get all the best speeches at once.
Before we get G-d talking about the Leviathan, we get Elihu to set the stage. We experience the tedious human failings through Elihu. Elihu speaks as if he knows everything and it's obvious that he knows nothing. The universe is big and complicated and full of mystery, yet Elihu wants to bore us with his “knowledge.”
After Elihu, we are ready to hear anyone talk about anything. How fortunate that we get G-d talking about creation and clouds.
Sadly, there's still one more Elihu chapter left.
If you need a writer or an editor, you can just email me at omanlieder@yahoo.com (that message button is weird).
Here’s Roger Ebert’s Review of 2001.
If you want to read up on more Bible stuff, may I suggest purchasing King David and the Spiders from Mars?
Great news on the money front. SNAP approved my new application as long as I turn in the papers. Slightly annoying news, they want a birth certificate so I had to pony up $81 to hopefully get it here before the deadline. Wish me luck. Also work is slow (fuck ChatGPT) and I don’t know that “buy me a coffee link” so if you want to tip, tip my Gofundme.