Existential Angst and Plushies - Tim Lieder's Substack

Existential Angst and Plushies - Tim Lieder's Substack

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Existential Angst and Plushies - Tim Lieder's Substack
Existential Angst and Plushies - Tim Lieder's Substack
The Witching Snakes pt. 19
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The Witching Snakes pt. 19

Does an Augustine monk dream of snakes in his last moments? Or do the snake women dream of a monk?

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Tim Lieder
Mar 02, 2025
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Existential Angst and Plushies - Tim Lieder's Substack
Existential Angst and Plushies - Tim Lieder's Substack
The Witching Snakes pt. 19
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Read Part 18

The Saint

In time when dynasties were rising and peace hinged upon whether the sons of an emperor could rule without killing their nephews, the snake women with broken hearts returned to their mountain.

Pilgrims approached the snake queens in perfect reverence. Heroes rushed up to slay the fearsome beasts. Greenie ate a few; Bai Suzhen asked her to stop. Many heroes arrived, seeking infamy. Eventually even Bai Suzhen, heart full of grief and guilt, tired of the game. She hid when they approached with their golden swords, their magic silk ropes, and enchanted diamonds.

Over time, the pilgrims proved just as odious. They didn't want to be friends, supplicants or lovers. They wanted to collect names and anecdotes. They would always return to society with tales of their time drinking tea with the Great White Snake and her Green Sister.

Buddhists no longer felt welcome. They had heard about Fa Hai. Christians held an angry faith. Jews rarely visited. Ballads claimed that a rabbi had once found the snakes while seeking the great synagogues of Kaifeng. Barbarians and mold took scrolls of the account away.

St. Augustine of Canterbury

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Dynasties fell. Wars came. The snake women remained. The monk of an order that could have been Christian moved to the foot of the mountain and walked silently without love, only the wind in his hands.

Greenie slapped him.

His face turned red. His flesh had been the color of bleached porcelain before the sun boiled it. Sweat poured liberally throughout his face; he wore a heavy brown robe. His hands would haunt Greenie long after he died, twisted like claws with broken fingernails. His green eyes cried at the slap. The tears were lovely.

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